Listerine Keeps Confessions Clean!

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Tuesday, 28 February 2023

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Are Your Favs on The LIST?!

The American Department of Justice has realized that the CIA and FBI are both criminal cartels bigger and more powerful than any mafia, so they cannot be trusted with … THE LIST!

So they sent me, Marlowe, no first name given, a private dick, to investigate the list. I can’t say too much about it as I study it since the people on the List are rich and famous and powerful and can sue me into the ground.

Some blogger and/or Youtube guy is currently being sued by one of these “Listers”, but I can’t name who for fear of also being sued.

It’s a tough racket in America, and it’s not all politics. There are people behind the politicians and celebrities who really control things, who can make a man commit suicide in funny ways, and The List is proof that they exist.

All your favourites are there. Ricky Gervais spoke out and maybe scared the Listers a bit, since many of them were in the audience, but the good thing about being a non-Lister celebrity, like Gervais, means they can’t whack him easily or it’ll look “too suspicious”.

Are we, the common people, allowed to look at the list and ask those on it why they were on it? No. Keep your mouths shut. You don’t want heroes to become villains, do you? ‘Cuz if the List is seriously looked into by the DOJ, then a lot of powerful people are going down – but not easily and not without a fight.

Strange times for America and the world ahead. I can study the List, as we all can, it’s readily available to all of those with free access to the internet, but you can’t say anything without the powerful bringing their lawyers to the table. So I won’t be able to report my findings, folks, sorry.

And that’s where freedom of speech and governmental and legal transparency is going … if you want to know secrets, you don’t have that right … you can only know something secret when you do something secret, thus gaining the trust of Listers, then you can also be on The List since you know someone who is already on it. It’s not what you know, but who, that makes you a good person versus a bad boy or girl.

This is called dark satire, similar to that written by Rabelais, Dante, and Swift … mocking the elite without naming names, so as not to find yourself laughing at the putrid moneyed scum while hanging from a tree with your hands tied behind your suicidal back.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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