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Spoof news events on this day in history
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Harry Potter Actress Emma Watson Has Breast Size Enlarged in Movie Posters
(2007) Apparently, "the best witch of her generation" is not the "breast" witch of her generation. In movie posters promoting the new Harry Potter film, the Hermione Granger character has gone from a cute, perky smaller breasted teen to, abra-cadabra, a pa...
Read full storySaddam Hussein Signs Underwear Deal with Calvin Klein
(2005) NEW YORK - Calvin Klein announced a three-year deal with Saddam Hussein in which the former Iraqi dictator would appear in a series of advertisements modeling fashionable underwear. "We want to show the world that every man can improve his image by w...
Read full storyPorn Star Blows World Record Attempt
(2009) German porn star, Cora, came unstuck yesterday when she tried to break the world oral sex record by servicing two hundred men, and ended up in the hospital. Cora, who is currently under investigation by the polizei for getting her kit off in a pub...
Read full storyStallone Convicted in Australian Steroid Drug Smuggling Case
(2007) American actor Sylvester Stallone was formally convicted in court for his smuggling of 48 bottles of illegal steroids into Australia in February. Stallone lied to customs officials about having a prescription for the medication that is illegal in bo...
Read full storyObama Administration to Establish New Department of Truth
(2013) In view of the recent scandals and persistent questions from the press and Republicans demanding that the White House explain variations in its responses on a host of so-called scandals - from Benghazi to the wiretapping of Associated Press reporters...
Read full storyRuling Authority announces first congressional draft
(2013) In its first pick in the new congressional draft, the Ruling Authority selected Arnold Sayers of New Ipswitch, Maine. The thirty-eight year old plumber was dragged kicking and screaming from his home to replace Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, also...
Read full storyAtos canonised by the Catholic Church
(2013) Atos, the French company that has been charged by the Department for Work And Pensions to determine the disability payments for the people of the UK will be canonised by the Catholic church after a criticism from leader of the opposition, Ed Milliban...
Read full storyMan In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat
(2013) The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just becaus...
Read full storySpoof writers milk world's largest penis for all its worth, world's largest vagina won't dry up
(2009) HOLLYWOOD, CA - Once upon a time, there was a Star Wars trilogy. Each movie in that now historic series released was a blockbuster, and moviemakers have been looking for a recreation of that success ever since. More recently, J.R. Trollkien's boo...
Read full storySerial Killer Strikes Another Cell Phone User
(2006) CLIFTON, New Jersey (AP) Clifton Police are investigating a shooting that took place outside a supermarket. "It appears this shooting might be linked to the string of cell phone shootings," said a detective. Since last March, a mysterious gunman has...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie is compromised in lesbian love affair
(2009) In a statement to reporters, Jenny Shimizu, Angelina Jolie's old lesbian flame, says she forced Angelina Jolie to play the role of a man during their ten year lesbian affair. According to Jenny Shimizu, Angelina Jolie is an unbelievable butch lov...
Read full storyLucy Gordon 'was no Katoucha Niane' gendarmes tell Sarkozy
(2009) Paris - (Pont d'Alma Mater Mess): "Merde alors! Incroyable, imbecile!" That was the reassuring view of Paris police this week as the bombshell of Spiderman 3 actress Lucy Gordon's suicide galvanised the French conspiracy theory industry into root...
Read full storyRihanna Licks Chris Brown's Wounds Outside NYC Strip Club
(2009) When Rapper and Sesame Street Tough Chris Brown learned that his former girlfriend and DV victim Rihanna was having a ball watching male strippers show theirs, he had his very own shit fit. Brown sent his body guards into the club, Manly Balls and...
Read full storyJonas Brothers Get Advice From Paul McCartney
(2009) After having some time alone for a couple of weeks, Joe Jonas had the idea to try to call up Sir Paul McCartney to see if they could to get a fresh look at the ideas they have been seriously considering, the number one being splitting up the group, a...
Read full storyHurricane hits Warsaw and kills nobody!
(2013) Warsaw,Poland: Hurricane Erskine hit Warsaw over the Whit weekend and killed nobody, damaged no buildings, but hit the Warsaw Book Fair with some very turbulent sex waves! In fact the impact of Hurricane Erskine Esq. hitting the city was so extrem...
Read full storyMonsanto Announces Accidental Cross Breeding of Boll Weevil and Chiggers.
(2006) In a surprise announcement, Monsanto admitted what many have suspected for some time, that their genetically modified crop program is out of control. But unlike the usual complaints of ruined crops and dead farm animals, these complaints involved pe...
Read full storyLocal Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court
(2018) Local Hospital, Last Resort Methodist, has opened its second food court in an effort to get more patients into the hospital. “The first food court didn’t have enough disease in their food. This time, with options like McFryBird and Lard Cow, we’r...
Read full storyMale Dog Owner Myth Exposed
(2006) The myth of male dog owners being “macho-men” while male cat owners are usually perceived as a little more on the “wimpy” side has been perpetuated for far too long. Through exhaustive interviews, hidden cameras, and down-right good investigative work I have pieced together an earth shattering report dispelling every misconception previously believed on the subject of male dog owners vs. m...
Read full storyLabour Party Pre Election World Tour : Deputy PM Visits Canada, Causes Trouble
(2004) John Prescott has embarked on a worldwide tour to promote Britain and more importantly, to improve relations with world leaders.
Read full storyClinton Concedes to Obama, Steals Libertarian Nomination from Barr
(2008) Facing certain defeat due to Barack Obama's insurmountable lead and his refusal to look for sex in public bathrooms, Senator Hillary Clinton resigned from the race for the Democratic presidential nomination on Tuesday night.
Read full storyBrad Pitt attacked by Jolie's old lesbian lover
(2009) Brad Pitt is verbally attacked by Jenny Shimizu because Angelina doesn't spend lavishly with Shimizu anymore. Greasy auto mechanic and ex-prison inmate, Jenny Shimizu, who shared a prison cell with Jolie during a ten year lesbian affair and who v...
Read full storyBritney Spears' Ass In The Hot Seat, Again
(2007) According to passengers on a flight from Los Angeles International Airport, Britney Spears, on her way to an Orlando Florida performance at the House of Blues, refused to fly because there were no leather seats on the airliner.
Read full storyThe Trumps Talk About Killing Elephants, Pedophilia, and Crazy Nancy
(2020) President Trump and his two boys had a very rare meeting to discuss politics last Tuesday. The offspring had an alcoholic drink, and the President, a teetotaler, ordered some fried chicken. Trump earlier had a dinner of two Big Macs, fried chicken...
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