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Spoof news events on this day in history
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Tool-making Cockatoo Signs Contract with Home Depot
(2012) No sooner had a cockatoo in captivity in Austria made the news by showing that he was able to fashion his own tools (read all about it in an article, Cockatoo shows tool-making skills, by Michelle Warwicker in BBC Nature News), when it was revealed t...
Read full storySelena Gomez Admits Dating Nick Jonas
(2008) NELENA FANS rejoice! Selena Gomez has finally admitted that she and Nick Jonas are dating! Selena said this when Tween Magazine asked her if she's dating anyone right now. She said, "Yes. I am and its Nick." This very direct answer has startled m...
Read full storyWizards Of Waverly Place casts it's final spell
(2008) The popular show, Wizards Of Waverly Place is filming it's last episode today due to fights within the cast. It's been revealed that since David Henrie (Justin Russo) started dating Miley Cyrus (Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana) fellow cast member an...
Read full storyMythbusters Claim Ownership of California Missile Launch
(2010) What was supposed to be finale for next season's cable hit 'Mythbusters', wound up as a national defense news story instead of an episode focused on sending a harmless home made missile into orbit. Hosts of the show, Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage...
Read full storyHuge asteroid zooming towards earth is carrying aliens!
(2017) NASA Scientists have discovered a huge asteroid, as big a Wembley football ground, zooming towards earth loaded with aliens! It was reported by a 'super Star' UK tabloid to the world, and alien spotters went nuts on the internet hoping to get info...
Read full storyObama wins Florida, vows "A change is coming to the Penis State!"
(2012) TALLAHASSEE, Florida (ABSNN) - The Florida Secretary of State certified today that Barack Obama won the state's election by a razor-thin margin of 74,000 votes. Tea Party freshman Congressman, Allen West, was defeated by fewer than 3,000 votes b...
Read full storyPfizer Earnings Up 1177% on Sudafed Sales to Methamphetamine Labs
(2005) New York -- Think Pfizer has made some decent money peddling Viagra? Ever thought about about Sudafed? Men with ED may purchase a dozen or so Viagra tablets a month, but "chemists" cooking up a batch of methamphetamine will often buy thou...
Read full storyParis Hilton Reveals Shocking Beauty Secrets!
(2005) HOLLYWOOD (AP) After months of negotiations with various publications, Paris Hilton finally agreed to reveal a list of beauty secrets to Spoof reporter Craven Morehead. "I feel a special kinship with Mr. Morehead and am very comfortable in sharing...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus' cousin jealous at her popularity
(2008) The second cousin of Miley Cyrus is furious at all the fame and attention her relative is getting worldwide. Cindy Cyrus - who is the daughter of Miley's father's younger sister - lives in a trailer park in Mobil, Alabama with her collection of ca...
Read full storyMick Jagger Replaces Steven Tyler from Aerosmith
(2009) The music industry was turned on its ear, or perhaps better stated, its lips yesterday, following the shocking announcement of Mick Jagger as the touring replacement for Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. Music industry icons from their respective home...
Read full storyI know from experience Joe Jonas is a good kisser
(2008) Well it was bound to happen sooner or later but someone has hit back at claims that Joe Jonas is a bad kisser, but no one expected it to be younger brother Nick who hit back. In an exclusive interview, Nick revealed "Joe and I have a different rel...
Read full storyBlair and Bush Send Mel Gibson to Rescue Tom Cruise, Madonna from Heresy
(2006) LONDON - Many have suspected that we were in a new Crusade, with the West imposing its values and religion on the East, and with the Holy Land as the battleground. Documents smuggled out of 10 Downing Street, and given to Dan Rather, say it's so...
Read full storyJay Leno's Ratings Continue Slip-Sliding Downward
(2009) CLEVELAND - NBC host of The Jay Leno Show, Jay Leno was in town hosting The Save Lake Erie From Going Dry Telethon. Leno was asked how many automobiles he has now. And the man with the anabolic steroid-looking chin replied that he had about 200,...
Read full storyBin Laden Furious over X-Factor results, Admits to Being Bored
(2009) Notorious, cave-dwelling villain Osama Bin Laden has broken a long silence to express his fury over "Jedward" beating his personal favourite, Lucie Jones, to stay in X-factor. "This is what happens when you give everybody the right to vote. Jedwar...
Read full storyTaylor Lautner/Taylor Swift Out-Cute Robert Pattinson/Kristen! In Contest!
(2010) In a new survey by six combined (Ages 14-24) popular magazines, the team of Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift received more votes than Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart who were a little miffed by the results! "I have nothing against either the T...
Read full storyDonald Trump Is The King Of Russian Spies
(2016) A top Russian diplomat & Vladimir Putin's spokesman came out of the closet Thursday. They admitted that Russian experts touched the Trump campaign more than once during the Presidential campaign and it felt so good. They said they were so happy P...
Read full storyMichael Jackson baby-sat Obama's kids!
(2008) It has been revealed that Michael Jackson used to babysit the Obama girls Malia and Sasha. The Obamas would ask Jackson, a family friend, if he could mind the girls while they were busy attending Democratic politcal meetings. Jackson and Obama...
Read full storyEpidemic of Falling leaves point to Climate Change
(2016) Dr. Paul Montgomery of Admiral University's Department of Climatic Intervention has been studying "a strange phenomenon that is occurring this Autumn and if memory serves me correctly, happened last autumn too" he said. Dr. Montgomery went o...
Read full storyHand Sanitizer Proven No Better than Mother's Spit
(2008) After a year of research into the antiseptic qualities of the typical over-the-counter, alcohol based hand sanitizer, researchers now admit that the ingredients in the sanitizer are no more effective than the spit from any mother's mouth. Side by...
Read full storyCheetos to Sponsor Trump TV
(2016) Special to TPN - Cheetos' parent company, Frito-Lay, announced that it will be a primary sponsor of President-elect Trump's TV station, CRUD (Conservative Republicans Under Donald). "It's a natural fit," said Vivek Sankaran, COO of Frito-Lay North Am...
Read full storyAirline Inaugurates Chicken Run Flights
(2008) Capon, Ireland - No-frills airline Tonyair has vowed to be one of the last airlines flying the friendly skies after the global economic crisis and oil prices take their toll on the industry. In a move to cut costs, diversify markets and multitask,...
Read full storyHeather Mills McCartney Death Ruled Accidental
(2007) LONDON - Fueled by wild speculation in the press, the actual cause of the death of Heather Mills, estranged wife of Sir Paul McCartney, became known today.
Read full storyAmazon Send Electric Blankets to Freezing Refugees Stuck on the Belarus/Polish Border
(2021) Mega Multi-Billionaire turn-over company, Amazon, have proven to the ice-cold world they do have a warm heart. A convoy load of Amazon trucks has been dispatched to the Polish/Belarus border filled with electric blankets as a charitable gesture to…
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