Holiday Message From Eoj Nedib And Alamak Sirrah
BILLINGSGATE POST: There is no universally accepted term to describe the reversing of letters to mock public figures. But to those who care about esoteric trivia, Joe Biden spelled backwards = Eoj Nedib. As previously noted, in the first caliphate, t…
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The Dalai Lama Predicts that Kierkegaard will be Reincarnated as Osho on Christmas Eve
The virginity of our Blessed Lady was defined under anathema in the third canon of the Lateran Council held in the time of Pope Martin I, A.D. 649. The Nicene-Constantinopolitan Creed, as recited in the Mass, expresses belief in Christ "incarnat...
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Santa Shot Down By NORAD; Millions of Children Witness Catastrophe
The US Air Force, NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command), in a gross case of mistaken identity, disintegrated Santa Clause and his 18 reindeer over Washington airspace this evening. Apparently, the heavy red man was flying over restricted a...
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Republican Christmas Cards for a Killer Holiday
Republican Christmas cards are a new hot trend, and all the NRA members want in on it. None of the families or senators or congress-people or celebrities wanted to be named (you have to wait till next Christmas, nosey-parkers!), but each right-win…
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Christmas Cancelled As Shakin Stevens Discovers First Grey Hair
Christmas 2021 is officially cancelled this year, as it has been confirmed that raven-haired Welsh rocker Shakin Stevens found a grey hair while brushing his teeth this morning. Shaky, real name Michael Parratt, 97, has been entertaining people w…
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Four Year old still scared by the concept of Santa
Four-year-old Noah is still scared of the concept of Santa Claus. Although, as always Noah has been a good boy, he still doesn't like the concept of a man he has never met giving him a present for no reason. 'It just seems a bit silly to me' Noah…
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'Postman Pat and the 1980s Time Warp'
Repurposing the Dreaded Holiday Fruitcake
Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black and Blue Friday
A 96-Year-Old Woman Is Caught Trying To Steal a 19-Foot Christmas Tree From Walmart
Nihilists Join Non-Believers in Holiday Struggle
Man Got Drunk, Sat In A Wheelbarrow, And Cried For His Mommy
The Kardashian Christmas Carol
William Hague's Ode to Christmas
President Obama Invites Denmark's Sexy Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt To Spend The Christmas Holidays At The White House
A Chrisbus Cackle
North Pole Conglomerate will Merge to Save Christmas
Irishman less than pleased with Christmas gift - more gab
Harry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance
The festive season is well-and truly upon us, and not without an early controversy, as Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire and his girlfriend Fern Hawkins have upset some of their neighbours with their own particular brand of...
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Geldof taken down by Amazon
Sir Bob Geldof has taken his 30th anniversary supergroup Band AID to the Amazon for what was meant be a secret Christmas special finale to Band AID 30. The supergroup haven't been able to perform the hit 'Do they know It's Christmas?' as they had int...
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Demi Lovato Reveals What She Wants For Christmas
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Singer, Demetria Devonne Lovato, recently told Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle, that one thing for certain is that she has definitely had her share of ups and downs this year. Lovato has been in and out of rehab…
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China’s Word is as Good as Gonads ... I mean, gold.
China has stated that absolutely, unequivocally, you-bet-yer-ass they WILL not INVADE Taiwan. (Sorry, I capitalized the wrong words there.) Just because Putin amassed his forces along the Russian border with Ukraine BEFORE he then invaded ... does…
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Santa Postpones Christmas After Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen Sent to Jail
North Pole lawyers were busy this week at the Elf County Courthouse, trying to arrange bail and some time sensitive freedom for Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen, three of Santa's primary reindeer team. Judge Judy Friesfrost denied an early release based on...
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Santa Claus Loses Job, Blames Scrooge
"A pox on their house," was the reaction of Mr. Claus when he found out he wouldn't be hired by one Midwestern town in the U. S. this year. He controlled his language in consideration of Mrs. Claus, who was standing at his side when he got the news.
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Masturbatory Oils of the World: Top Xmas Gift
Amid the disasterous sales shortfalls of the holiday season, came a shocking report from a small startup in Tucson AZ. Raine Blay Industries, maker of your standard sex toys like the RU Board Muff Motor, Stiffy the Magic Eel and the Jrnombligo Champi...
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Revealed: Joran van der Sloot's Christmas Wish List & Shocking Jail House Sex Tape!
Tis the season to be jolly, and based on the shocking sex tape just released of van der Sloot's romps with a bevy of married female Peruvian guards, minders, and human rights defenders, it appears that the alleged serial murderer is getting more "att...
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Obama says Kwanzaa in "Multicolor House'
Washington D.C Kwanzaa will be celebrated in the new 'multi-colored' house next year. In keeping with his theme throughout his campaign, that 'change is coming', President -elect Barack Obama announced change yesterday. Kwanzaa will be celebrated in...
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Santa Says Obama To Stay On Naughty List
Santa Claus admitted in an interview after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that United States President Barack Obama will remain on the naughty list for another year. "I don't want anyone to make anything racial out of this," said that Jolly Ol...
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Motivational speaker spreads Christmas bullshit
Les Robbins, who has made millions of dollars from the motivational speakers circuit, announced that he has released his latest book, “There’s no isn’t in Christmas”. The book is about a poor couple who struggle to find hotel accommodation in the…
Read full storyFunny Christmas Headlines
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Obama says Kwanzaa in "Multicolor House'
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Santa Says Obama To Stay On Naughty List
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Revealed: Joran van der Sloot's Christmas Wish List & Shocking Jail House Sex Tape!
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Santa Postpones Christmas After Dasher, Blitzen and Vixen Sent to Jail
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Geldof taken down by Amazon
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Santa Claus Outed As The Devil
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Demi Lovato Reveals What She Wants For Christmas
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Christmas Cancelled As Shakin Stevens Discovers First Grey Hair
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China’s Word is as Good as Gonads ... I mean, gold.
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Motivational speaker spreads Christmas bullshit
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The Dalai Lama Predicts that Kierkegaard will be Reincarnated as Osho on Christmas Eve
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Santa Shot Down By NORAD; Millions of Children Witness Catastrophe
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Masturbatory Oils of the World: Top Xmas Gift
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Santa Claus Loses Job, Blames Scrooge
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Santa Claus Hates Mince Pies
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Harry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance
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Holiday Message From Eoj Nedib And Alamak Sirrah
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He Shot His Eye Out!
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Four Year old still scared by the concept of Santa
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Republican Christmas Cards for a Killer Holiday
