The Duchess of York, tracked down on the coast of France where she was hiding out after revealing tapes showing her selling herself for money, claims she got the idea from former President Bill Clinton who proposed auctioning himself off to the highest bidder to pay off his wife's 3 year old campaign debts.
"See," she said indignantly, "it's alright for the former President of the Colonies to sell himself to the highest bidder for $1m in order to bail out his wife, but poor little old me, all I wanted was $750,000 which unlike Bill didn't include spending the night!"
Fergie continued her litany of comparisons saying, "Look...I only owe about $4-500,000....Hillary has stiffed a bunch of people for over 3 years and the total not including interest is over $1m. I'm not like her, expecting someone else to pick up the tab (sic), I want to take care of the little people that believed in me, even if no one wanted to come to my NY Charity Ball and the organizers lost all their money based on my empty promises! Can I help it if everyone I promised to be there had already died after the guest list was published?"
The Clintons, recipients of tens of millions of dollars from oil rich states seeking influence, have been lax in attending to outstanding bills from suppliers, caterers, seam stresses, newspapers, and printing companies.
Since neither ever had a real job, they have no concept of money and the realization that when you buy something, it has to be paid for by you!
In the Clinton's case, the you in the equation means the tax payers of the United States because it's just more democratic that way!
Emma Goldstein, a seamstress from Queens in NYC is an 85 year old pensioner who is still waiting to be paid by Hillary from alterations made in 2007 when Hillary was on the campaign trail.
"Sure, I fixed her pants, 'said Emma, "big job too...had to install 4" of elastic in the back of those size 18's and camouflage the fact she looked like she was carrying a big load back there....also flared the jacket tops down to her knees which hid her thighs as well...she loved my work, but the bill for $325.49 for the 12 suits still goes unpaid!"
Had she ever heard from Hillary ever again? "Not directly," said Emma, " but apparently she liked my work cause I've heard from Napitalano, Sotomayor, and now that Kagan person....I told them, Cash Up Front or they could just let their arse hang out on National TV....No Federal Government American Express Cards neither...I'm 85 and don't know if I'll live long enough to collect!"
Meanwhile, back in the UK the BBC has announced a blockbuster new reality serial already subscribed to HBO in the Colonies. Titled "Fergie de Jour' it takes viewers on a journey of incredibly erotic interludes where a titled Royal, fallen on hard times prostitutes herself, and despite fantastic odds, really begins to enjoy it saying, "It's really better than being Queen For A Day!"
