BERN, Switizerland - (Spoof News) - Hold onto your tulips, folks! Switzerland has been shaken to its core by a massive 7.7 earthquake that hit at 4:04 am Tijuana, Mexico, time, and sent shockwaves through the country's beloved tulip industry.
Lucy F. Lindylaken, a spokeswoman for the Swiss Tulip Industry (STI), said the quake sounded like six bullet trains high on Swiss chocolate and cheese, all colliding at once.
In addition to laying waste to the Swiss tulip fields, the "Quakey" also caused massive losses for Swiss Miss Chocolate, with over two million pounds of chocolate destroyed in the quake. The wooden clog industry was also devastated, with more than 800,000 pairs of Swiss clogs crushed under the quake's mighty force.
But fear not, citizens! According to The Bees Knees News Agency, the iron and steel industry remains unscathed. So put on your best suit of armor and keep calm and carry on, Switzerland!
