HONK KONG, China - (Spoof News) - The Fortune Cookie News Agency has the chopstick scoop of the century! A massive lightning bolt has blasted The Happy Face Chopstick Factory and destroyed a staggering 2 million chopsticks.
The factory's security guard, who was taking a nap after a satisfying meal of kung pao chicken and egg fried rice, was shocked awake by the lightning bolt. He then realized, to his dismay, that he had spilled soy sauce all over his knock-off Levis, leaving a stain that resembled the Great Wall of China.
He said that every smoke alarm in the huge plant went off like a screaming banshee, making a racket louder than a Camel Toe heavy metal concert.
Now, the bigwigs at Happy Face say they have to import chopsticks all the way from Iceland! We're not sure how the Chinese takeout restaurants will feel about using icy-cold chopsticks, but that's a story for another day.
