Welcome to the City of Light, Paris!
Enjoy a complimentary Molotov cocktail made from a bottle of Mouton Crouton ’89 – a very good year for a revolution, n’est pas?
And over here are some famous landmarks … currently on fire. But the restaurant, Flambeaux Boom Boom is still serving a five-course meal … until the protesters smash their way in.
When the world is upside-down, why not visit a museum of art, showing paintings by all of your favourites … who possibly died while there was a war or revolution going on somewhere because human beings still haven’t thoroughly figured out how to rule themselves without killing a ton of the innocent while the elite stuff their shirts with more money.
Escargot? No one likes them – green garlic, Mon Dieu! I would rather burn down Notre Dame … oh wait, that’s already dust.
Alas, come to Paris for the art, stay for the fights!
I’ve never seen firefighters battle police, have you? It’s like a post-apocalyptic video game come to life.
Vive La France!
… which may be entirely gone by the time Macron is done his trip to China, getting handjobs from comfort girls and boys, and thinking to himself, “You know, this fascism is not so bad. I could be emperor … like Napoleon!” (French nasal laugh, and … Europe is dying and Putin is ready to take it all.)
Why must all politicians desire to become immortal? The history books will destroy you if you’re in them longer than fifty years! Democracy means the People deciding the nation, not the Head Dipshit … remember The People, Macron? What are those three colours of the flag mean again … libertie, egal-something, and “fascism over all”?
Did I get that right? Did Macron?
[Cue “La Vie En Rose” sung by Edith Piaf]
