Late Breaking News from Finland … well, two stories really …
One, Sanna Marin is no longer the Prime Minister because her party lost by the tiniest margin ever so that right-wing Finns who hate foreigners – especially Russians (so you can kinda understand why the country went this way … in a word, FEAR!!!!!!) – so Sanna will now be able to party (in the lyrics of Kiss) “all night long and ev-ery day”. Good for her. Please come back soon … you make most of the other PMs of the world look like hideous old white male trolls with warts and hooves as they of reek of a toxic smell, possibly zombie death.
The party that will soon be ruling the new Finland has been described as “liberal, conservative, conservative-liberal, and liberal-conservative” … so they may not actually know who they are, and that will be the Finland that pisses off Putin.
And segue into …
Second news item: Finland has now provided a larger border of NATO to Russia, which pisses off Putin to no end.
Putin wants the right to invade other countries like Trump wants the right to commit crimes and get away with it. Putin hates that Finnish women and men are hotter (by, like, a million!) than Russian women and men, who have lived under a fascist regime since … since Peter the Great … no, Catherine the Great …. no, maybe Rasputin the Hypnotic and Horny? Well, it’s safe to say, whether CCCR Stalin or Empirical Czar, Russia has ALWAYS been ruled by a dictator.
Putin has thought of asking if Sanna is free to date, despite her being married with a kid. Plus, she was born in 1985 and Putin is somewhere around the age of 87, so once again, we have a Trump in the East trying to hit on women younger than himself. Old men’s penises know no borders.
Good luck to Finland for becoming a wall between sanity and Russia, and congrats to Sanna for getting out of that lousy job and partying forever with naked lesbians kissing while draped in the Finnish flag …
… why in the hell do I live here and not there, goddammit!!!!!!
