IZYUM, Ukraine - (Spoof News) - The president of Afghanistan Abu Taboo Fashu has just informed the world media that the Taliban 7th Infantry Regiment has landed in Izyum, and they are preparing to attack Putin's military forces which occupy the city, which is considered the Sand Capital of Ukraine.
The 7th is led by Colonel Sawfu Du Moomon, who is noted for once having eaten a vulture after shooting it with a shotgun.
According to sources, Colonel Moomon believes that consuming birds gives him the power to fly, and he has been spotted jumping off rooftops in an attempt to do so.
The Taliban regiment will join forces with soldiers from seven other countries, including the USA, Switzerland, Mexico, Cambodia, Kenya, and three other countries that we can't pronounce or spell.
Together, they plan to take on the Russian forces and capture the city of Izyum, which is home to the world's largest collection of sandcastles.
Reports out of Izyum are stating that Russia's 41st Moscow Super Infantry Regiment is considering retreating from Izyum because they are afraid of the Taliban soldiers' bite.
Apparently, the Taliban soldiers have been known to have razor-sharp teeth and are not afraid to use them.
Rumor has it that Colonel Moomon has been giving his soldiers dental training to prepare them for the biting battle ahead. According to sources, they practice their biting techniques on cinder blocks, rubber ducks and dried-out gummy bears.
SIDENOTE: Some soldiers have reported PTSD nightmares about being chased by a giant toothbrushes and the dreaded floss-monster of Farah.
