GENEVA, Switzerland - (Satire News) - The Metrologists of The World (MTW) held their annual meeting in Geneva, and they concluded that it does not appear that the Russian invaders are going to be withdrawing from the Ukraine anytime soon.
But they stated that there are reports that a devastating 8.9 earthquake could strike the area sometime before Valentine's Day.
When told about the theory, Putin said that it was all just a hoax and an assholiun witch hunt perpetuated by VP Kamala Harris, Dr. Jill Biden, and Celine Dion.
Meanwhile President Biden is sending a team of trauma experts to deal with the stress that everyone in the Ukraine must certainly be experiencing, especially the octogenarians, the hair stylists, and the street walkers.
