MOSCOW - (Satire News) - President Putin texted the leader of Switzerland, Ignacio Cassis and told him that Russian welders had melted the captured submarine, The Chocolate Wave.
Cassis texted him back telling him that he was extremely angry, as that was his country's only submarine, and he planned on suing the Russian government.
Putin immediately texted him back telling him not to get his panties in a wad, and added that he should be happy that before he told his welders to torch the sub, he had some of his troops remove the seven sailors, the rear admiral, and the chocolatier from the submarine.
"Thank you for that" came President Cassis text reply.
SIDENOTE: The nine Swiss citizens are currently being imprisoned in one of Kim Jong-un's North Korean prisons.
