According to unconfirmed reporters from Reuters French President Emmanuel Macron has announced that France has surrendered to advancing Russian forces in Ukraine, stating that the French have 'no appetite for war; just raw onions and smelly cheese'.
Though the terms of the surrender have not yet been made public it is understood that parts of France will be annexed by Russia including the French Riviera; a move that will allow Russian Oligarchs to continue to use their yachts and villas and not interrupt the constant flow of prostitutes and cocaine.
It is expected that Italy will announce its immediate surrender shortly.
