PARIS - (Satire News) – France’s national news agency, Ohh La La, has just reported that the Grape Cicada Infestation has gotten a lot worse.
A spokesperson for the French government stated that the cicadas originated up in Finland and they migrated southward in a short 8-day period.
The grape cicadas mate with local katydids and their offspring can totally destroy a grape vineyard within 72 hours.
Local grape growers tried all kinds of methods to eradicate the pests, but nothing worked.
One major vineyard owner went as far as hitting his 4,000 tree vineyard with napalm, but that only served to burn his entire vineyard to the ground.
Meanwhile, the South American country of Peru has offered to trade to France 800 million standard-sized grapes in return for French dressing, French fries, and French ticklers.
