PUERTO CHANGO, Costa Rica – (Satire News) – The Costa Rican government is extremely concerned due to the on-going Banana Famine of 2021.
A spokesperson for the government, Willardo Villa-Sopaipilla, who is 97, stated that this is the worst banana famine since 1941, when 89.3% of all Costa Rican bananas were destroyed by the dreaded Nazi Beetles, which are believed to have entered Costa Rica on a German freighter.
As a result of the banana shortage, monkey experts are noting that roughly 94.7% of all Costa Rican monkeys have basically said fuck it, and are now living in Panama, where there are tons and tons of juicy, delicious bananas.
Meanwhile, the Chiquita Banana Corporation, which is headquartered in Alligator Nuts, Florida, is extremely concerned and is consideringimporting bananas from Zimbabwe, Bolivia, and Mookaslavia. ■
