Doctors all over the world are reporting that patients who have been fully vaccinated against COVID are developing unusual scars on their foreheads and right hands. Puzzled, many have appealed to experts in other fields to offer their opinions as to what this might mean.
Dr. Marco D. Best at the Vatican's Institute for the Study of Bizarre Biblical Passages gave his opinion:
"What we are seeing are scars that resemble the characters DCLXVI or DCXVI, which, of course, are the Roman numerals that represent '666' and '616', respectively. Interestingly, patients who have received the Sinovax vaccine are developing scars that resemble one of these two numbers expressed in the Chinese numeral system."
"We are also seeing adherents of the Eastern Orthodox Church displaying these numbers in the ancient Greek numeral system, and Messianic Jews displaying Hebrew numerals."
"Now, don't be deluded by what you may have seen on a heavy metal album cover. The Arabic numeral system that we use didn't exist back in New Testament times. Much as I enjoy rocking out to the music of Ferrous Girl, their graphic artist got that detail dead wrong."
In other news, people with no vaccination scars are reporting that banks and other businesses are frequently declining their banking cards, their credit cards, and even their personal cheques. Dr. Best assured reporters that this was pure coincidence.
