Great White Sharks Tag Massachusetts Marine Fisheries Workers

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Monday, 7 September 2009

image for Great White Sharks Tag Massachusetts Marine Fisheries Workers
Great white sharks like this one tag humans to learn more about their movement in shark territories.

CAPE COD, MA - The Massachusetts Division of Marine Fisheries has been tagged by two great white sharks off Cape Cod, state officials said Sunday.

Friday evening's event marked the first time a great white shark has successfully tagged a human in the Cape Cod area, the Marine Fisheries division said in a statement. A second worker was tagged Saturday afternoon, officials said.

The state employees were each administered a sharp, triangular, toothlike object with a tiny chip, inserted into the flesh of their buttocks in waters near Monomoy Island, a National Wildlife Refuge just south of Cape Cod.

Great white sharks use information collected from the tags to record where humans travel, which allows them to better understand human traffic patterns and interactions with shark populations.

Humans are fairly common in New England, the division statement said, but great white sharks are relatively new to the area, so they are trying to learn more about us.

Massachusetts Marine Fisheries workers tagged a couple of great whites, just to even the score, said officials.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more