America, that fickle tribe, has blamed Canada for sending down the smoke of a million forest fires and turning the skyline of New York City into an orange apocalypse.
Joe Biden sent firefighters up to the Great White North (really? want to change that name yet, Canuckia?) to douse the flames and let New Yorkers get back to breathing "clean" air. (That's what NYC is known for, after all.)
And yet not a single American has gone on a shooting spree since the orange smoke has arrived. Canada says, "You're welcome. And don't blame us for shitting on you – you've been shitting on the world for years – including on yourselves – and not even a single one of your presidents have gone to The Hague. The smoke will cleanse and purify if only you breathe deep and smell the Great White North invade your lungs."
Is there a strange environmental jihad going on between old friends or frienemies? Smoke calms the killing, but Americans just aren't happy unless one or more of them are firing guns at everything that moves. Unfortunately, as hard as they try, their bullets pass right through smoke, doing no damage to the sky. (Didn't King Canute use a sword against the endless waves battering "his" shores?)
The New Yorkers are really pissed off, not by the smoke, but by the fact that it's hard to pull a trigger when you're coughing and your eyes sting, and you can't see ten feet in front of you as your fellow American is running faster than a speeding bullet.
(Didn't a Canadian help invent Superman?)
America will just have to wait for the fires to die out and the winds of change to blow away the orange.
PS: Orange ... wait a minute, my Spidey sense is tingling ... isn't there an ancient American president colored orange from head to shins?
PPS: OMG, is this the Curse of Trump in its dying throes, as the DOJ and a man named Jack reads to the CNN audience the charges against the Great White Orange?! Portents in the New York sky ... the prophecy is being fulfilled! Canada is purifying its neighbor to the south.
PPPS: You're welcome.
