Just like the sneaky bastard he is … Donald “Spank Me, Stormy” Trump has been found dead of an apparent heart attack!
Isn’t that just like him to avoid going to court – and not to sue somebody into giving him more money – but in the orange with his chains chiming, shuffling bent over, asking where’s his lawyers at? Did they all quit yet?
Is the death of Trump real or fake? It’s hard to tell – which is just what Trump wants. While in a coffin, will he have a bottle of oxygen and a nail file to break out? I know my Houdini! I know all the tricks, Trump, so you might be able to fool MAGA but not me.
The coroner hasn’t been available for comment, and the body of Trump has yet to be seen during its autopsy, but sources say that he died of a heart attack on a wrestling mat … story gets even more bizarre …
You know what? I think this is fake news. It’s just too rife with inconsistencies. I love hearing fake news on TV and especially social media, but this one … I don’t know … then again, the porn star IS REAL! So what is real and what fake ….?
According to various MAGA “sources”, Trump has also allegedly ascended to Heaven and is now sitting at the right hand of Jesus … and, uh … Trump has just sold Jesus a condo in Bel Air for one night with Mary Magdalene.
Magdalene … MAGA … oh my god … the prophecy has been fulfilled!
We’ll stay with this fake and crazy and possibly real story until Trump resurrects and defeats Satan in the wrestling ring … this Friday night at Madison Square Garden! Get your tickets early – standing room only!
(Note: Messiahs and their girlfriends get in free.)
