New York, NY – As the city of New York stands ready to follow through on its indictment charge of Donald J Trump, Mayor Eric Adams has ordered all 36,000 police officers within his jurisdiction to be in uniform and ready in case of suspicious or actual malicious activity surrounding the former President’s arrival into custody. The mayor is looking to avoid a repeat of January 6th in Washington DC, as the former Commander-in-Chief has once again called for a ‘by all means necessary’ protest, this time against his forthcoming arrest.
A representative from the mayor’s office, acknowledging the astronomical costs of protecting the city with its entire force at once (and of course actually protecting the civil rights of a 99% white crowd), was under the circumstances gleeful in commenting on the situation.
The spokesperson was quoted as saying, “For one day’s worth of work, it’ll cost the taxpayers of New York a projected $4 billion for 36,000 police to protect us from a projected, at most, 360 protesters. However, with all that being said, the mayor now finally has an agenda he can attach himself to. Now maybe he won’t be called out so much for clubbing with rap stars and showing up at late-night fundraisers. Now Mayor Adams finally has a purpose.”
When asked what Mayor Adams will do after things finally settle down and return to normal, the spokesperson shrugged their shoulders and turned sour, reportedly saying, “I don’t know. Ask me after the damn party’s over.”
