Gridiron Dinner Where the Elite Come To Play … and Julian Assange Is STILL in Prison

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 12 March 2023

image for Gridiron Dinner Where the Elite Come To Play … and Julian Assange Is STILL in Prison
No Matter the Distraction ... Julian Assange is STILL in Prison

Mike Pence went to a Gridiron Dinner and had the veal – which was still alive! Pence pulled out a gun and killed the squealing baby cow right in front of everybody … to much applause.

Then Pence went onto the stage, wiping off cow’s blood from his face and bowtie and cummerbund, to say, “Donald Trump will pay for wanting me dead and for starting the Insurrection! Viva La Veal!”

It was, apparently, really good veal. Pence was sucking it out of his teeth as he sat down and then Trevor Noah got up and did some wacky one-liners to all the other elite in the crowd, the starched shirts and open bodices, and everyone smelled delicious, and Noah refused to mention Julian Assange even once to the people who matter.

Who is still in prison, waiting for America to kill him.

And America is waging secret wars right now and worrying that it won’t be as rich and power as it once was and how everybody should be afraid of its enemies but not it … and Julian Assange is still in prison.

And Greta is taking down tweets and faking arrests … and Julian Assange is in prison.

And the Chinese brokered peace between Iran and Saudi Arabia … and Julian Assange is still in prison.

And some of the world is afraid drag shows will destroy the world and others are worried that drag shows aren’t fun enough … and Julian Assange is still in prison.

And the British are worried about boats landing on their shores (that’s what happens when you live on an island, duh!) … and Julian Assange is still in prison.

And a documentary about Alexei Navalny wins Best Documentary at the Oscars in the USA … and, ironically, Julian Assange is still in prison BECAUSE OF the USA.

And Harry and Meghan hate not having the privacy to enjoy all their lucrative TV and book deals and talk show interviews … and Julian Assange is still in prison.

And Rishi Sunak is heading to America to talk about weapons with the Americans, but you can bet that neither Sunak nor Biden will talk about the elephant in their collective room … Julian Assange, still rotting in prison because of those two countries, and no other. (Not even Russia and China? Nope! Ain’t the irony sickening?)

Who the fuck cares about Mike Pence anyway, taking his sweet time and a few years to realize his boss is a criminal bitch – then shooting a baby! (cow) … and Julian Assange is still in prison.

This story will continue as long as Julian Assange is still in prison.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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