Washington announces absolutely definitely for sure who blew up Nord Stream pipelines

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 1 March 2023

image for Washington announces absolutely definitely for sure who blew up Nord Stream pipelines
Guards at Belmarsh Prison reported looking forward to the new occupant next to Mr. Assange

The cunning of man (and women?) is limitless, we must conclude at this point in time.

As we know all too well, a recent analysis by the American journalist Seymour Hersh claims that it was the USA, aided by Norway, that blew up the Nord Stream pipelines last September.

White House response: “Utterly false and complete fiction.”

This despite what some have said is incriminating circumstantial evidence.

The President himself had previously said that if Russia entered Ukraine, the pipeline would be disposed of:

"We will bring an end to it."

When a journalist asked how that could be done, he replied: "I promise you: We will be able to do it."

Following the pipeline destruction, American response appeared jubilant.

US Secretary of State, Antony Blinken, spoke of the “tremendous opportunity,” and “chance to take away Russia’s ability to use the pipelines as a weapon.”

Under Secretary of State Victoria Nuland exulted that the pipelines had been reduced to “a twisted hunk of metal lying at the bottom of the sea.”

These comments, however, are not evidence. Merely what one says does not provide proper proof, US officials say. Besides, they do know who is responsible.

Would this be Russia itself, seeking a false flag operation by destroying its own pipelines to lay blame on the US?

“A very tempting analysis,” said an aide to Mr. Blinken. “However, we have gone further.”

The aide continued. The perpetrator knew all the details and obviously had the ability to organize the entire scheme.

How could this man know all these details of the destruction, including cooperation of Norway, plus placement of the buoy triggering the explosion--unless he himself made all the arrangements!

And who was it?

“Yes, there is only ONE answer,” says the same aide. “Mr. Hersh himself!”

With the world reeling from this development, the US is preparing its case.

This is the answer, plain and simple.

Mr. Hersh, seated on a packing crate, will be flown by military cargo plane, to Belmarsh Prison as soon as possible.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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