Good old-fashion American apple pie is dead – and you’re a scumbag for liking it!
Apple pies will no longer be allowed to be made in America, largely due to protests by those who do not like apples and who are enraged that other people demand they like apples.
“I am a grapefruit lover and always will be until the day I die!”
That protester died three days later from excessive alcohol and meth consumption.
“My pie – my body!” read another protest sign.
This reporter wasn’t sure what it meant, but I asked the female sign-holder with thick black Brillo pads under her arms, and she said she did not want to join me for a coffee, or maybe even dinner later.
Just as all left-wingers act and think the same, so too do right-wingers. When the left hates pie, the right loves it.
Trump has said: “I love pie, Melania makes a great pie, I love it, I eat it every day, but every night I eat Ivanka’s pie – I don’t know where she gets it from, probably her mother, who also had a great pie – I eat all the pie, I don’t care where it comes from, what flavor it is – and if it’s in a sexy bikini, I love it even more …” his press agent had to shut him up so he didn’t put his foot in the pie any deeper.
So if you are pro-pie, keep at it! Eat all the pie you can, and twice on Sundays. The Lord loved pie so much, he made apples!
However, if you’re anti-pie, then you are an Antifa who hates Jesus and wants America to fail and you probably wouldn’t know what to do with a hot piece of pie if it fell into your lap, loser.
