WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The FBI has just stated that with all of the illegal shit that Old Shitface (aka Trump) pulled, he could very easily end up being sentenced to 69 years in prison.
An unnamed FBI agent said that just the treasonous shit that Trump has pulled is enough to land him in jail until he's about 145.
But Cheeto Face keeps insisting that it is all fake, a hoax, and a fairy tale.
Las Vegas is currently giving 8 to 1 odds that the Trumpturd will end up in prison before Pearl Harbor Day.
Meanwhile, back at Trump the Traitor's mansion, now known as Mar-a-Liar, half of his employees have quit because he has asked them all to take a pay cut from $9 an hour down to $6.
