WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The group of GOPers, who have been nicknamed “The 5 GOP Goons” spoke before a crowd of 34 people, 17 who were members of the media, and 12 who were anti-GOP Americans.
The five shitheads are Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, Paul Gosar, Bob Good, and Marjorie Taylor Greene.
As Marjorie “Horse Face” Taylor Greene began to spew her hate-filled rhetoric, someone in the crowd hollered out that she smelled like a Brooklyn sewer.
Another crowd-member yelled out that compared to the ugly, fake blonde. a Brooklyn sewer smells like a bouquet of gardenias.
At that point Matt “The Grabber” Gaetz told the crowd to stop offending his girlfriend and soon-to-be the new Mrs. Matt Gaetz.
Louie Gohmert, who along with Ted Cruz and Governor Greg Abbott, are three of the most hated persons in Texas, screamed out that Marjorie is nowhere near the evil bitch that the media has painted her out to be.
“Go suck yourself, Louie!” a voice yelled out. "Yeah," screamed out another individual, "Gaetz has been eyeing your crotch ever since you all walked up to the podium together like a bunch of side-saddle riding pansies."
And then someone lit a firecracker and all five GOP Goons wet their collective pants in unison.
One reporter for BuzzFuzz said that Gohmert, who makes cowshit look pretty had an Egg McMuffin thrown in his face (which the hungry creep actually ate).
Meanwhile Matt grabbed Marjorie’s masculine-looking hand and the two ran away, getting into the back seat of a Kia Sorento.
