WASHINGTON, DC - White House officials are, this morning, denying rumours of a spectacular orgy in which Trump participated.
That's President Donald Trump, you understand.
Some writers don't explain that; they just say 'Trump', inferring some kind of 'unspoken disrespect'.
The president, who Demi Lovato calls "the Orange Tweet Creep", or some other such shit, is said to have been present with Kellyanne Conway, whose husband, George, calls Trump the "Liar-in-Chief", Meghan Markle, who thinks Trump is a 'cutey', and Nicki Minaj, who calls Trump "Baby Fingers', because she's mentally ill.
Conway was clad in nothing but a pair of Daisy Duke short shorts. So was Demi, and so was Nicki. Meghan was wearing one of her "eight or nine" stolen crowns, and showed everyone her tattoo of Prince Harry's brother, Prince Charles, which she has on her left buttock or, possibly, earlobe.
There was a lot of vavavooming, rather too much horizontal hokey-pokey, and an unbelievable amount of boop-oop-a-doopin business' taking place, whatever the fuck those childish terms are supposed to mean.
A jolly good time was had by all concerned.
There was, sadly, no appropriate way of getting Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Mike Pence, Bernie Sanders, or Sean "The Marionette" Hannity into this particular story. Sorry about that.
[SIDENOTE]
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
But there was no sign of any laughter
