Billionaire couple busted for crack dealing at US embassy party

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 10 April 2008

image for Billionaire couple busted for crack dealing at US embassy party
A still from the embassy's CCTV footage

London - (Narcotic Mess): The ambassador's parties may be noted for their glamor and sophistication. But this week's message is 'Ferrero Rocher eat your heart out.'

"It's been a clear a case of 'Oh, Mr Ambassador, with this crack cocaine you are really spoiling us' at the American embassy in Grosvenor Square this week," the head of the Metropolitan Police Drug Squad said today.

Chief Superintendent Jim B. Ergerac was commenting on the arrest of billionaire London couple Hans and Eva Rausing for attempting to deal dozens of wraps of heroin and crack cocaine.

The scion of the Tetra Pak cartons mogul and the daughter of a wealthy Pepsi Cola director were caught red-handed after a decade of denying any involvement in international drug dealing.

The highly covert operation is understood to have focused originally on George W Bush's Texan used car salesman envoy Robert 'Katie' Holmes Tuttle, ambassador to the Court of St James's.

A highly controversial figure on the London diplomatic circuit Tuttle is known to hand-pick his favored guests for the grand Mayfair embassy soirees where the Rausings have been a regular item.

Pete Doherty is doing fourteen months in Wormwood Scrubs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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