Drowning Street - (Ass MessSki): A major diplomatic incident has occured as hundreds of relatives of the late Russian tyrannical despot, mass-murderer, genocidal maniac and national hate-figure Joseph Stalin phoned the Foreign Office in London today to register their total disgust at having him compared to UK Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown.
And in London scores of normally placid Russian secret service personnel masquarading as bona fide brothel pimps and slave traders are also up in arms over Lord Turnbull's assertion that Brown's "very cynical view of mankind and colleagues" is in any way Stalinist.
"Here we have ToryLite chancellor pretending good socialist," said a Russian embassy spokesman.
"But he one utter scumbag sucking like Thatcher. Capitalism is make him greedy fool. And stupid too. Who think people vote for him when Blair unfortunate accident in police station next week finds Plutonium in bedtime Whorelicks?"
Who indeed.