The North-East Somerset tophat and tails has been spotted skulking around various coats of arms, trying out some Latin, seeing if any of it fits his name.
He wants his name to be endless. From an endless name he figures he can have an endless family and lineage of super conservatives who will completely rule and destroy Britain for the future!
He is a man looking ahead, not behind! So his name must live on ahead of him, and be as buggered and complicated as possible. That’s the path to regality.
So far he has come up with:
Rees-Mogg-Bogg-Pogg-Pugg-Excelsior-Buntcake.
Not bad for a start, but some of the more ancient families have even longer names.
Some have suggested a few additions to the surname:
Slug-Fugg-Figg-Spigg-Pastygit-Horseface-Smashmouth-Gaga-Googoo-Babyfart-Avalon-Brianferry-Buttplug
Some more? Sure why not?
Knicked-Knickers-Spickers-Sticklers-Shitters-Fritterandwastethehoursinanoffhandway-Floyd-Lloyd-Pompom-Trumpkin-Narnia-Aslan-Basra-Tonyblairisawarcriminal-cornerstonefaithflagfamily-seigheil
Not bad for a start, but there are still a lot of words in the English and other languages, so Jacob – or Jake or J-Dog or J-ditty-pitty-spitty-gitty – has still a long way to go until his name outrambles the Welsh town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
or the New Zealand hill: Tetaumatawhakatangihangakoauaotamateaurehaeaturipukapihimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuaakitanarahu
Pressure’s on, Jake!
