Michael Madeup's leaving speech

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 19 May 2023

image for Michael Madeup's leaving speech
You are right, he does have stupid hair.

Today marks a significant moment in the political landscape as we bid farewell to none other than Michael Madeup. Madeup has stirred intrigue and captivated attention throughout his career and we hope this won't be the last we hear from him.

This is his leaving speech, printed in full.

Hello,

Michael Madeup here. You may remember me from the last time I had a mini breakdown on Twitter.

No, you remember me for my stupid hair, that you proles think is a wig? It's not a wig. Do you think I would pay money for something that looked this stupid?

Oh, you do, do you? Well, that is very charming.

I was also on First Dates you know?

And if that wasn't enough, I am a Conservative councillor. I did think I might leave, but then I thought, no, I will stick around for a bit longer.

Do you know who I am? There is more to me than a stupid hairstyle. Not a lot more, obviously, but a bit more.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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