SCOTLAND – (Satire News) – The reason why Scottish independence is being pushed for is much simpler than one might think. Why this is so, one may ask. Here we tell you the secret about it.
The reason is a large clean lake in Scotland. It is common knowledge that Loch Ness is known worldwide for the monster affectionately known as Nessie. But recently it has come to light, by scientists, that Nessie has much bigger role than being a tourist attraction.
It's because of Nessie's huge lungs. The lake water is cleaner because of Nessie. That's why local scientists want to prevent outsiders from interfering and so the British government has to be considered ignorant of the matter.
Which is crucial here?
Doctor Melopondos Cracc, the chief advisor to the Clean Lake Water Research Institute in Scotland, clarifies the matter:
"Since the matter has become public, I have to take a stand. But all I can get is that Nessie is unique and thanks to her we can have clean lakes all over Scotland in the future. Cleaning the world's lakes goes along with it. "
Melopondos Cracc points out that then the Scots will have an export product and the negotiation with the British will rise to a new level.
"So, the matter is Loch Ness – nothing less."
