GLASGOW, Scotland – (World Satire) – The Kilt News Agency has just reported that 101-year-old Bonnie Olivia Mugdock, who describes herself as "The Cat Lady”, was saddened after she gave away 2 of her 93 cats.
Catty, as the neighborhood youngsters call her, told the reporter for Kilt that she felt extremely bad, but there was just no way that she could have possibly afforded to keep on feeding all 93 cats.
She pointed out that the Kibbles ‘n Bits was costing her a small fortune, not to mention the 15 bottles of flea spray she uses in just a one-month period.
Catty commented that a nice gentleman in a dump truck went by her home a few days ago, and offered to take every one of her cats. She asked him why he wanted all 93 cats.
She said that the mysterious man commented, “Little lady, let’s just say that I have a huge boa constrictor."
The elderly woman immediately ran over him with her wheelchair, and began pummeling him with her umbrella.
Luckily for the dump truck driver, one of Catty’s neighbours saw what was going on, and grabbed Catty, allowing the truck driver to escape any further beating at the hands of Mrs. Mugdock.
As the driver was climbing into his truck, Catty yelled out, “No motherfookin' SOB is going ta use me little pussies as snake food, ya bloody, bloomin’ wanker!”
