Following the successful completion of popular soft-core porn series "Game of Thongs", mad Queen of the Ashes, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of chains, Daenerys "Dany" Targaryen, is to make her next move in politics by throwing her hat into the ring for leadership of the Tory Party. A least, we think it's a hat - it could be a severed head though....
"I have some great plans for the UK," she announced. "Our armed forces will be modernized by the introduction of 5,000 hairy blokes rampaging around on horseback.
"I can also promise a boost to police numbers by the addition of 10,000 mental virgins all with big poles. Then again," she added, "that could have just been a funny dream I had the other night."
"Our nuclear deterrents will be replaced by three flying lizards and a big fuck off crossbow, and foreign policy will be vastly simplified to 'Bend the Knee or else'."
When quizzed on economic policy, her reply was simply "Dragons"
The Environment? "Dragons!" Brexit? "More Dragons!"
"I'll certainly improve PMQs," she admitted. "I'll have the chancellor and Deputy PM executed every Tuesday."
She also went on to point out that Jacob Rees-Mogg and his ERG would be reclassified as White Walkers, and that Party Election broadcasts would be greatly improved by her "getting her baps out" in every episode.
When challenged about just being a bloodthirsty psycho with Daddy Issues and clinical paranoia, she simply shrugged and asked:
"How's that different from the current one?"
