Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti has just learned that an Ohio State Buckeyes cheerleader has been declared the winner of the "Most Extraordinary Beaver" at the annual Beavercreek Grand Beaver Gala.
Beautiful brainbox Alexis Bluffberry, 21, who hails from Burnt Boot, Ohio, proudly showcased her remarkable beaver to a stunned audience.
Lexi, affectionately known as "The Beaver Baroness" among her cheerleading squad, football team, and even her podiatrist, unveiled her beaver's awe-inspiring talents, including synchronized swimming routines, impeccable dam-building skills, and an uncanny ability to recite Shakespearean sonnets.
Lexi and her extraordinary beaver were awarded a flamboyant crown adorned with gemstones, a cash prize of $9,000, and an exclusive set of professional beaver grooming tools.
SIDENOTE: Miss Bluffberry is currently dating Lieutenant Rigoletto "Rigo" Franchaletti, the flamboyant vice squad detective with a penchant for polka-dot bow ties and pineapple-shaped sunglasses, who has personally taken up the task of ensuring the Beaver Baroness and her talented companion's safety from the nefarious schemes of jealous beaver rivals and paparazzi hungry for scandalous "beaver dam" exposés.
