Not a single male should be elected, really, politics isn't their sport

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Thursday, 20 April 2023

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Not a single male should be elected, really, politics isn't their sport
For some reason biological men can't compete successfully with women in Equestrian sports.

WASHINGTON (NW) — Transgender athletes whose biological gonads assigned at birth are male would be barred from competing on girls' or women's sports teams at federally supported schools and colleges under legislation pushed through Thursday. It's a shame more though wasn't put into the law.

The Fourteenth Amendment's Equal Protection Clause requires states to practice equal protection. Equal protection forces a state to govern impartially—not draw distinctions between individuals solely on differences that are irrelevant to a legitimate governmental objective.

The law should have read, "Biological sex assigned at birth as male or female would be barred from sports teams not of their gender at federally supported schools and colleges."

Women need to be barred from playing against men in men's sports to comply with the constitutional law of equality. Women outperform men in equestrian sports, and they have to be banned from men's equestrian events to create a fair playing field. All people should compete within their own gender events.

Under constitutional law, it's possible to create an unorthodox game in which men and women volunteer to participate and compete against each other, even though the outcome is fairly predictable. In men's boxing, there are considerations of fairness with lightweight and heavyweight divisions.

In Olympic archery events, men and women compete because both have an equal chance of winning, even though men have a tiny advantage based on spatial perception. The odds are 49 to 50, with the ability for women to tip the scale. If more women with superior archery abilities compete, it's predicted that women will take most of the gold medals. Yes, this is a fair playing field with all the considerations and with good opportunities for certain types of women to win. But why not have an all-women Olympic archery event, and also an all-male Olympic archery event and finally an Olympic archery event for both men and women. Maybe also, an archery event for transgender women and non-transgender women who volunteer. This would be real fairness for everybody.

Supporters said the legislation, which would put violators at risk of losing taxpayer dollars, is necessary to ensure competitive fairness. They framed the vote as supporting female athletes disadvantaged by having to compete against those whose gender identity does not match their sex assigned at birth.

Should politics be a female performance event, and all males need to be restricted from elections because people can't handle the constant political mistakes men have made over the last one-thousand-years. Women on an international political level are less aggressive, and more logical at solving political problems, data shows.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more