PHILADELPHIA - (Sports Satire) - Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni has expressed an interest in signing former Cowboys running back Ezekiel "Feed Me" Elliott.
Sirianni says that he thinks Dallas owner Jerry "The Relic" Jones overlooked the fact that Zeke can still take the ball and run like a scalded dog gaining an average of 4.9 yards per carry.
Sports Bet Gazette writer Zorro La Bamba stated that he heard that Zeke was let go because owner Jerry Jones did not like his humongous hairdo.
One of the Eagles cheerleaders, Canteeta Fishington, 26, said that she dated Elliott back in high school and she remembers that even then he was all hands.
SIDENOTE: Ezekiel says that he will donate $3,000 to The Home For Former Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders, for every touchdown that he scores.
