ALBANY, New York - (Spoof Sports) - The Lighthouse Press News has just broken the story that had been swept under the rug, that a basketball player and a cheerleader, who both attend John Deere College in Nebraska were caught canoodling in the back seat of an Uber car at a Walmart parking lot in Albany (NY).
The couple was identified as JDC starting center Kaito Amagi.23, and head cheerleader Vienna Schooner, 19.
According to LPN writer Skippy Viperwater, the two had just met three days before the NCAA basketball tournament and Kaito had already gotten to first, second, and third base.
The passionately amorous couple was videotaped hitting a home run on Walmart's video surveillance system.
Meanwhile, the president of John Deere College is looking into what the punishment for the two dilly dallyers should be. ■
