HOUSTON - (Sports Spoof) - Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti says that a phenomenal 16-year-old freshman pitcher from Texas has just been signed by the world champion Houston Astros.
Elroy "The Laser" Farragut, who pitches for The Sandy Koufax High School Broncos, confirmed that he has signed a three-year, $1.8 million per year contract with the Astros.
Farragut also revealed that he will receive an $800,000 signing bonus, plus his own 2023 Lamborghini, even though he is too young to drive. His mom, Gloria Farragut, said that she'll drive the car until Elroy gets his driver's license in two years.
Meanwhile, Houston Astros manager Dusty Baker is sitting on top of Cloud 9, and is already talking about putting the 16-year-old pitching sensation in the 4-man starting pitcher rotation.
Baker told the sports media that he has never seen a pitcher throw harder than Farragut, including fastballers Nolan Ryan, Roger Clemens, Dwight Gooden, Ching Fing, Tom Seaver, and Lorenzo Barbacoa.
