DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette has broken the story that Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott is on the trading block.
Team owner Jerry Jones said that he had a long owner-to-employee talk and he simply told the Dakster, that it's nothing personal but the team needs to move on from him.
J.J. then divulged that he has his eye on a really, really damn good Dallas high school senior quarterback named Paxton Anderson, who just happens to be Jer's grandson.
Grandpa Jerry noted that Pax can throw the football 75 yards (with either arm).
Jones said that the team doctor showed him a four-page medical report explaining why Prescott will never, ever again play at 100%, or even at 63%.
The report states that the quarterback suffers from water on his left knee, calcium on his right wrist, deep rooted bruises on his tibia, a dislocated sphincter muscle, a lopsided tongue, a dislocated scrotum, and an undescended right tonsil.
Prescott emphasized to Jones that those things have nothing to do with is ability to throw a football.
The octogenarian (80) Jones proclaimed, "THE DAMN BULL-FUCKING-SHIT THEY DON'T!!!"
Jerry then explained to Dak that he is only 29, but he has the body of a man in his late 70s.
