PONCHATOULA, Louisiana - (Satire News) - White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, has informed the American public that President Biden has just named the new assistant director of the FBI.
The woman is a 9-year veteran of the FBI and her name is Staci Waterloo, who lives in Ponchatoula, Louisiana.
Miss Waterloo has shown to be one of the best FBI agents in history, along with the fact that she is also one of the hottest, prettiest, and sexiest federal agents in recent memory.
Miss Waterloo, who has degrees in Native American music, yodeling, and Scandanavian Geography is single, stands 5-foot-8-inches tall, weighs, 137 pounds, and her vital measurements are 36-24-36.
SIDENOTE: Miss Waterloo says that her favorite number is 13, her favorite color is shocking pink, her favorite sexual position is the reverse cowgirl, and her favorite baseball team is the Houston Astros.
