HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - Jenny Jo Viper, a reporter with Sports Buzz has just broken the story that the NFL's bottom-dweller, the Houston Texans are moving to San Antonio.
Texans owner Janice McNair, who is 86½, informed Sports Buzz that the team's 2022 record of 2-13-1 is positively pathetic and it is not acceptable.
She noted that the attendance to the Texan's game was worse than many area Houston high school games.
McNair even tried different promotions to get attendance up. She stated that their "Buy Three Tacos and Get a Butterball Turkey Free" promotion failed miserably.
She also said that her "Free Lone Star Beer" promotion only managed to draw in 8,000 fans.
SIDENOTE: Miss Viper says Mrs. McNair is thrilled to be moving the team down to San Antonio, Texas, and she plans on changing the team colors from red, white, and blue to midnight black and metallic silver.
