HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - The Houston Astros showed the baseball world, that they are the best baseball team in the entire world.
The Astros beat the Phillies from Philadelphia quite convincingly and left millions of weeping fans in the city of brotherly love.
Of course, never mind that these same Phillies fans booed Santa Claus in a Christmas parade, not to mention that they have said that if they ever see the tooth fairy they will shoot her ass faster than it takes a cricket to jack off.
Houston super star Jose Altuve stated that the secret to the Astros continuing success is that unlike every other player in the Major Leagues, they never complain about an umpire call, plus they have started a tradition of taking up a collection and after the game presenting the home plate umpire with a gift certificate anywhere from $200 to $400 from Lowes Home and Garden Supply Store. ■
