TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Sports Satire) - Well "The Divorce of The Decade," has been finalized and the outcome is this; Tom gets to keep all of his $250 million and Gizele gets to keep all of her $400 million.
Many of the top divorce attorneys in the country say that they have never seen a more civil, seamless divorce; ever.
One Left Coast lawyer, who said he as represented hundreds of well-known celebrities, stated that 99% of the time it's a fucking dogfight.
He added that he has heard the most vulgar, nasty words come out of the sweetest, sexy mouths of female celebrities that would make hardened Oregon lumberjacks blush.
SIDENOTE: So Tommy and Gissy are now free to go on about their business. He playing football and she modeling crotchless panties.
