SNOW BLIZZARD, Colorado - (Satire News) - Sporting Chance Magazine has just uncovered the real story behind the woman who has just been chosen America's Top Collegiate Cheerleader.
Hercules Confetti with SCM, stated that Lizzy Pompatelli, 21, of Durango, Colorado, was chosen from a field of over 400 cheerleaders.
Pompatelli, who has an older sister who is a cheerleader for The Los Angeles Laker Girls, attends Pike's Peak College.
She said that she learned a lot about the mechanics of cheerleading from her older sister Sonya, who actually wrote two of the now standard cheers for the Laker Girls.
Up until now, only three people knew that Lizzy is not a biological female; her mom, her sister, and her ex-husband, Yodell Funfisio, who actually signed a non-disclosure agreement at the time of their divorce.
