Water levels are rising all over the world (because all the world is attached by water), and people are scared they may have to swim to work in the future.
But not to worry, good Catholics all around the world (cuz Catholicism tried to create the first New World Order, and failed, but damn, they got a lot of suckers to believe their shit – and if they didn’t believe, they got killed – Killer Pope! Coming soon to a theatre near you!)
The Pope and his Catholic Minions of Goodness are right there worrying with you.
How can the heathen be converted to the Truth and the Light and the Hypocrisy when they’re six fathoms under?
Well, now, Prince Francis – or Pope, whatever – has set up a military branch of Vatican City known as the Water Walkers. This will be the Vatican’s navy (inspired by other ridiculous military branches like the American Space Force – which has yet to invent the space ship or space boots or ray guns or other 1950s-esque sci-fi shit, which is where Trump has his head stuck when he came up with the way to keep his name immortal forever – but not in a traitorous way.)
The Pope will be hanging ten with Moon Doggy and Cardinal Crunch and Annette Funicello as he surfs the waves in his new 20-foot long Hawaiian special surf board, catching some tasty waves, watching for those devil sharks, as he surfs around the globe to save the pagan scum from God’s Flood 2.0.
There ain’t no Noah and no ark for this next one coming … whoever can ride the curl the longest, gets all the souls!
Surf’s up, Frankie! (I mean, Francis …)
