BEIJING, China – (Winter Olympics Satire) – China’s Fortune Cookie News Agency has announced that the highly touted Peruvian women’s ice hockey team has been sent home.
According to Olympic Committee officials, it was discovered that in Peru’s game against Greenland, which the Peruvian muchachas won 6-0, they were found to have used hollowed out hockey pucks.
The use of hockey pucks that have been physically tampered with has been outlawed since the early 90s.
A hockey puck manufacturer from Milwaukee, Wisconsin explained that when hockey pucks are hollowed out it makes them travel much faster and they're almost impossible to stop; short of shooting them with a semi-automatic rifle.
SIDENOTE: The Peruvian team was shocked when it was learned that one of the players, Martina De La Cantina decided to defect to China.
