SAN FRANCISCO – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette has announced that the 2022 Women’s Federated Football League will be changing some established rules and will be adding others.
League rep, Marsha Mickalicki, 31, said that one rule that is being added is the breast injury rule. This rule was added by the league’s chief medical doctor.
Rule B-691 states that "If a player receives an injury to one or both of her breasts, she will have to leave the game and report to the blue medical tent located on the sideline."
The player will then be given a mammogram and at that point depending on the injury to her tit(s), she will either be allowed to go back into the game, or she will be required to leave the playing field and report back to her respective locker room.
Another rule that is being added is the "Runing into the kicker’s crotch region" rule.
This rule known as Rule C-769 is meant to protect the groin region of the lady kickers.
And lastly Rule P-301 is being dropped. This rule pertains to "A player not being able to appear in the game if she is on her period (menstrual cycle)."
League rep Mickalicki, stated that since women’s tampons have gotten much more stronger and more absorbent, a player who is on her period will be allowed to continue to play.
SIDENOTE: Ms. Mickalicki revealed that the season opener will pit the San Francisco Beavers against the Fort Worth Femme Fatales.
