PITTSBURGH – (Sports Satire) – There was no joy or happiness at Heinz Field, aka Ketchup Stadium, home of the Pittsburgh Steelers, as evidenced by the sad faces on every Steelers fan.
Steelers coach, Mike Tomlin, was reportedly so upset that his team got beat, that he kicked all 7 Gatorade cans over, and then took a hot dog out of back-up punter Lyndon Doodle’s hand and tossed it 35 yards.
The Steelers were beaten by a team that really has no name, and is known as the Washington Football Team.
Coach Rivera said that he knew they were going to win because the astrological zodiac signs were in complete alignment, and the night before, he had seen the letter "W" in a slice of avocado toast he was eating.
Reports coming out of the Steelers locker room say that Coach Tomlin, is going to have his entire team practice out in the freezing cold from 1 am until 4 am.
Meanwhile, Steelers linebacker Ulysses Gilbert III, says he won't be able to attend practice because he gets sleepy as hell after 1 am.
