In recent years many scientific breakthroughs have been made. Among the most recent are bottled water, proven to be up to 100% inside a plastic bottle, CIA computer software, designed to produce cool yet otherwise completely redundant sound effects while displaying a myriad of ridiculously flashy and over-designed graphics, and the movie Borat. Another outstanding achievement in the scientific world involves diet soda and mints.
Professor John Nohau, proud inventor of the Triple-Stuffed Oreo and currently head researcher at the University of Duhmschitt in Germany, was quoted in saying: "It is tremendous fun to play around with projects like alternative energy sources and the cure for cancer, but sometimes one must also do some actual scientific work".
A team of scientists lead by Professor Nohau is currently conducting research on a possible way to create exotic Iranian glowing grass, infused with the genes that code for Luciferase, an enzyme involved in bioluminescence in certain species of fish. The grass would be marketed to sport stadiums and could eventually be installed in homes worldwide, to achieve the radio-active effect parallel to the current fashion trend of suffering and starvation exhibited in the Middle East, central Africa and France. Professor Nohau and his team have already begun other, similarly important projects involving hamsters, spray-paint and the U.S minister of defense.
