A robot has won the Nobel Prize for Literature!
The Noveltron 3000 has penned over 42 novels with universal themes of love and loss and man’s inhumanity to man – hitting all the notes for any jury – and blew the human competition away!
Judges are still trying to figure out if it’s legal or not for a robot to write creative fiction, and for such work to be nominated for anything. (Like if you have a penis and your competitor has a vagina and you both enter a pissing contest … who’s gonna win for distance? Ladies, how far forward can you thrust those hips? Do you wanna win or not? You gotta want it! You gotta taste it! Ewww, never mind.)
But then again, if people didn’t cheat in life, then no one would be a billionaire or make themselves President or Prime Minister because of who they know and who they screw, as opposed to having the ability to lead.
“You gotta steal big to live big”, says Donald Turnip, famous robot identifying as a human.
If one robot wins a Nobel, then will robots that do physics and medicine and chemistry and economics … will they too win Nobels, and if so, will they make the Nobel a pointless prize?
Only money and laziness knows for sure.
The inventor of dynamite must be rolling in his grave and getting the urge to “blow shit up” … but then again, there are rumors that a rap star may be up for the next Literature prize for his “insane dope lyrics about love and loss and man’s inhumanity to man … and keeping it real and rollin’ in the Benzo and smackin’ my bitches up real good and poppin’ a cap in a pig’s ass” …
… not exactly Shakespeare (who never won a Nobel, just sayin’) or John Keats (who’s dead – couldn’t live long enough to get the Nobel, eh, Mr. Beauty is Truth?) but then again, well, fuck it, literature is now dead, like the rest of the arts. (Movies are made by CGI, not human beings, James Cameron knows this well.)
Yep, literature is dead. Read Dr. Suess, the last good writer.
