Crash Test Moon Dummies and NASA’s Great Lie

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 20 November 2022

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No Kubrick Means NASA for Dummies

Three crash-test dummies, or better yet, space radiation test dummies are heading to the moon. They will be covered in 5,600 sensors to test the radiation levels as they travel to the moon. Will they get out and walk and take selfies and drive a moon dune buggy and play a round of golf – just like all those astronauts did from 1969 – 1972?

Has space radiation gotten worse since (Brian Adams singing ‘The Summer of ’69”)? So exactly how bad can the radiation be when you don’t have an ozone or magnetic force lines surrounding your planet, protecting you from all the hell in that vast void we call space? (Space is pretty, until you get there. See William Shatner’s epiphany to Jeff Bezos … there is death, here is life …)

Republicworld.com says: “The radiation levels in outer space are 700 times greater than what we feel on Earth, thanks to the protective covering of our planet's magnetic field. Scientists are concerned about the two sources of radiation-- the one from outside the galaxy and the unpredictable ejection of charged particles from the sun. According to ESA, cosmic radiation is always there and they are powerful enough to pass through metals and plastic and hit human cells.”

… always there … even in ’69 …

The German Aerospace Centre is helping out NASA (since NASA is half-Nazi anyway, and they can’t do much but kill anyone who gets into one of their rockets):

"We chose female phantoms because the number of women flying to space is increasing, and also because the female body is typically more vulnerable to radiation", DLR scientist Thomas Berger said in a statement. "When it comes to the harmful effects of space radiation, breasts and ovaries have a greater risk to develop cancer".

So, ladies, if you wanna go into space, your female parts will rot to black before you get back … and space scientists know this and yet they still want you to go first – don’t think of yourselves as guinea pigs … we want to give you equal opportunity to die … you venture into hell first, then if you don’t die too badly, we’ll send up the men … (misogyny alive and well at Cape Canaveral).

Neil, Buzz and Michael Collins didn’t suffer from radiation poisoning, nor did they die from some crazy-ass cancer. Neil died of heart disease in 2012, Collins died of cancer at age 90 in 2021, and Buzz is still alive.

Weren’t there supposed to be people in the first Artemis launch? What happened? Science intruded into mythology? Kubrick is dead and thanks to Marvel movies, people are accustomed to fancy special effects – so they’re getting better at telling what’s fake and what’s not ...

… in 1969, the top grossing movie was “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” and coming in second was “The Love Bug”, and “Midnight Cowboy” won Best Picture.

Space? Nothing there. Even the first “Planet of the Apes” (released 1968, same year as … Kubrick) didn’t contain a lot of “space shots”, just a few out a window until they crashed on the planet. Not a lot of sci-fi movies could fool a 1968 audience like “2001: A Space Odyssey” … but today, NASA scientists are hoping audience’s will be gullible enough to think that Spiderman and Green Lantern can go to the moon anytime they want …

… and so can three fucking dummies – not people! Explain yourselves, NASA, or admit to the lie!

People cannot go to the moon because THEY WILL GET CANCER AND DIE! This is a scientific fact, which is being ignored by scientists. And this is how people prefer lies than truth, so go ahead and lie … it’s the American way, when things get bad on the ground and they want you to look for hope in the stars … that brand of hope’s name is CANCER.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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